Snail's pace

Another hard, long day. I looked at my watch earlier this evening and was dismayed to see it was only 7:30. It felt like 11:00. And even now, it's only just after 10:00.

My mom grows increasingly disoriented. And it's just, well, a different kind of disorientation than it's been in the past and even than it was just a couple weeks ago. Even that gorilla conversation from before, the one that was so disorienting ... I knew exactly where she was. I could trace the steps she took to get from point A to point Z. Now, she feels so far--like the mom I know is already beginning to fade. She FEELS beyond recovery now. And so I feel like I'm doing what I can to make her comfortable and to make me who knows what and so ...

I'm not sure what else to say right now. More tomorrow.