Something like a summary

I've been trying to work this out in my head. On May 25th, my mom went to the hospital and was diagnosed with ... liver failure? About a week after that (June 1st), when she was released from the hospital, the oncologist on duty told us she had three to six weeks to live ... depending; maybe months if she went back on chemo. On June 7th, she went back to the hospital for what turned out to be mild congestive heart failure. On June 13th, she was released from the hospital. On June 16th, she went back into the hospital with pneumonia. She was released on June 19th. She went back on a half-dose of chemo on June 27th. It's been about 4 1/2 weeks since the oncologist gave us the 3-6 week prognosis. And she seems to be doing really well (considering the last month) right now. Helping her to do well, of course, is a pharmacy of daily medications.

This morning, I took her to see her pulmonologist. He thinks that things are heading in the right direction. Everything is couched, though, in an "I think" or an "As far as I can tell." I can't blame him, though--these things are iffy (of course, when she wasn't doing well, that language was UNACCEPTABLE). But he's encouraging my mom to start walking more. Go outside--see if you can walk half a block from the house and back. Just don't push it. Apparently, to the heart, going up one flight of steps is the equivalent of walking a quarter mile on flat land.

I'm trying not to push it, too. Push myself, that is, to feel normal ... whatever that is. I went to Trader Joe's just now and stopped in at a clothing store to try on a t-shirt and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed that my hair was a mess and I looked tired and there were spots all over my shirt. I'm trying to laugh it off. I mean, it IS a little funny ...

Thank you everyone for all your kind thoughts and angels sent in our direction. And, also, for making me laugh and for continuing to share your lives with me so I feel like I'm still on the planet earth (such as it is--and why is Bush still president and oh my god with Libby and poor Al Gore's son who looks a little like Bill Clinton) and for picking up where I've, um, thrown down? You guys make me happy ... and, apparently, mushy.

Also, The Departed was REALLY good.