Seattle 6

Change in plans. I'll be leaving for California on Saturday instead of Wednesday.

I called this morning and everything seemed okay. She had forgotten that we had spoken yesterday ... her days get confused. You could also tell that she was trying very hard to appear to be okay to me. But, still, she seemed lucid--strong.

But when I called later this evening, my nani picked up the phone and informed me that my dad and my aunt had taken her back to the emergency room. I called my dad's cell phone and learned that she had had a severe panic attack. While I was visiting last week, she had told me that whenever she would nap during the day, she would wake up with this incredible feeling of discomfort--panic. This time, it was worse than it has ever been. So bad that she couldn't breathe.

One of her doctors (the same doctor who takes care of my dad's heart) wanted her to stay at least overnight. Her blood pressure was high (I imagine that the panic does that ... but it doesn't help that high blood pressure is a side effect of Avastin).

I spoke with her and she sounded good--but, of course, my aunt told me later that she was faking it.

So I go back on Saturday not knowing what to expect.

Thank you all for your kind and sweet and patient thoughts. You'll have to forgive me for what I say or fail to say or if I say too much of or don't say enough of right now. And, just thank you.